Thursday, January 15, 2015

"Modest Proposal" Satirical Essay

The problem I will be addressing is the constant hatred and violence between the police force and citizens in modern day America. It is truly a delicate situation and must be handled with extreme caution. Examples of this conflict can be seen in incident such as the trial in Ferguson and the NYPD. To alleviate the pain and suffering, drastic measures must be taken. I have come up with the most obvious solution, which is to remove the citizens from the country. In addition to the disappearance of society's aggressors, the detriments of life, such as automobile traffic, overpopulation starvation, and war, would be eradicated. However, some say that the removal of such an immense quantity of people is immoral and cruel. To combat this accusation, humans are inherently evil and corrupt. By displacing them, only the loyal and peaceful police officers will be left to run society correctly. With only troopers, civilization would run harmoniously and be free of complications. 

My suggested means of citizen removal is to either send a rocket to a foreign planet or moon or create an underwater community paid for by the money in possession of the said citizens. For the interstellar option, NASA would be recruited to build a spacecraft capable of fitting 10 million people comfortably or cramming 20 million people into all available space. Since luxuries would not be available on the ship, costs would be extremely cheap. The next decision would be where to drop off the former Earth dwellers. I personally favor the moon due to its close proximity to our home planet. It would require less resources to reach and low gravity is pretty awesome. The second means of citizen removal would be the construction of an underwater dystopia. It will be placed in the Pacific Ocean due to the large amount of space and depth. Civilians will be sent to this area through long glass tubes emitting from the water. Again, only the basic necessities will be supplied to those sent. Either option will be suitable and the cheaper, quicker course will be taken.

In conclusion, without the deviants and criminals of our current day, planet Earth will become completely free of any disturbances. Unemployment will be at 0%. Crime would become nonexistent. More energy will be conserved and food will be plentiful for all. Lastly, with only law enforcement running the world, the human race will prosper more than ever.

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